Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Quotes by Arthur Baer (9 January 1886 – 17 May 1969)

Arthur Baer Quotes


- A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

- A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

- A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

- Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.

- His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

- If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

- It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

- Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

- She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

- An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out.

- Hello! We heard you at the door, but just thought you were part of the bad weather.

- It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

- She's generous to a fault - if it's her own.

- Although it is a far cry from there to here, he laughed all the way.

- He was so ugly, the last time I saw him he was the top of a totem pole in Seattle.

- She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

- You can always judge a man by what he eats, and therefore a country in which there is no free lunch is no longer a free country.

- If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they only print your thumbs.

- He doesn't remember any silent days in motion pictures - the director always yelled.

- He writes dialogues by cutting monologues in two.

- It arrived by first-class mail in second-class condition.

- He was thrown out trying to steal second; his head was full of larceny but his feet were honest.

- A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

- It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.

- She was always crying; in fact, she wept so much she made everybody's corns ache.

- The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.

- I paused like a woodpecker at timber line.

- He had insomnia so bad that he couldn't sleep when he was working.

- You can take a boy out of the country but you can't take the country out of a boy.

- If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

- Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.

- How much would you charge to haunt a house?

- It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of a rope.

- A good neighbour is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence but doesn't climb over it.

- She was a brunette by birth, but a blonde by habit.

- He was born silly and had a relapse.

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